Guest Contributor: Tenille Ademiluyi, Mental Health Therapist, LMSW

Coping With Anxiety

At the risk of stating the obvious—these are very challenging times. Political upheaval and social unrest posted against the backdrop of a global pandemic have created a fertile breeding ground for the current wellness crisis. In the past 18 months, mental illness has skyrocketed, with 1 in 5 Americans reporting some form of mental illness. Anxiety disorders are the highest reported mental health issue, affecting forty-two million Americans. There is no doubt about it. We are under an excessive amount of stress and our bodies and minds are simply not designed to thrive in an environment where we constantly feel threatened. 

So, what can we do to protect ourselves from the negative consequences of prolonged stress? You may not like the simplicity of my answer, but here it is:  We must stop perceiving our world as threatening. I can hear your responses as I write this--what?! Have you been living under a rock?! Do you not watch the news?!  The world is falling apart and your answer to all of this is to stop feeling threatened?!  Yes. That is my answer. Let me explain. 

The statistics I gave at the beginning of this article are not actually due to stress, they are due to the human physiological response to a perceived threat. When we perceive danger, our sympathetic nervous systems fire into action. Our bodies fire chemicals and hormones that help us to either fight, flee or freeze (play dead). The sympathetic nervous system is brilliant and is responsible for the stories we hear of people becoming incredibly fast or strong during times of danger. However, when the perceived threat is continual it causes this system to fire all the time. This constant activation can result in anxiety, panic attacks and hypervigilance. 

The anecdote to this issue is to engage the parasympathetic nervous system. This system is also brilliant and is responsible for calming the body down after a fight, flee or freeze response to a perceived threat. It decreases the heart’s respiration and regulates digestion. It helps the body return to equilibrium. We can learn to intentionally engage this system by learning to relax our bodies, sending the message to our brains that we are not in any known immediate danger. I can hear you protesting again—but wait, we are in immediate danger! What about COVID?! I hear you, but if you can eliminate an immediate clear and present threat to your life right now at this moment, then you are ready to engage your parasympathetic nervous system. Here are two strategies that work for many of my clients:

Deep Breathing: 

Take a moment to get comfortable, preferably sitting upright and close your eyes. Take a deep cleansing breath in through your nose to the count of three. Notice your chest expand as you inhale. Exhale through your mouth to the count of three. Notice your chest collapse. Repeat this 5-10 times. Deep breathing is a signal to your brain that you are safe, and the body does not need to prepare for battle.

Body Scan: (wet noodle)

In any position, mentally scan your body for any tight muscles. Starting at the top, notice if there are any tight muscles in your face. Is your brow furrowed? Are you clenching your jaw? Release those muscles and move down to the next part of your body. Notice your back, torso arms and legs. Intentionally release any muscles you were unconsciously tightening. At the end of this exercise (1-3 minutes) imagine your body as a wet noodle, completely limp. Like deep breathing, this exercise sends the message to your brain that you are safe.

For a demonstration of the above techniques and many more, visit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEOEJXMt8Fg

Discussion Challenge: pay attention to how often you hold your muscles tightly as a result of a perceived threat.  Do you clench your jaw in traffic or tense your shoulders before a meeting?  Muscle tension is a signal that you are perceiving your situation as threatening. Your sympathetic nervous system is likely firing in these scenarios. Try one of the strategies shared in this article and let us know your experience!  (See comment box- bottom of the page)

Contact info:  tademiluyi@protonmail.com

References: 

NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health)

Mental Health America

Eric Gentry, Ph.D., LMHC (trauma competency conference 10/2021)

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Let’s Talk About Generational Health – Families Need Help!

We talk a lot about Generational Wealth but more needs to be discussed about Generational Health. After all, as they say, health is wealth, right? So, as we focus more on living healthy, we should also think about how we can support the health and wellness of family members?

Lots of families (including my own) have long-standing health issues like diabetes and high blood pressure which have been passed down from generation to generation. In some families it’s even expected that the next generation will contract certain illnesses; it’s just a matter of time.  I believe, a lot of the time, that’s false. Yes, there are generational illnesses that despite the person’s level of fitness and the best doctor’s advice, they still contract a condition. However, there are also illnesses that are directly connected to a person’s diet and level of fitness. In those cases, poor health can be managed or even prevented.  

Our communities must be healthier if they are to thrive long-term. Just as good financial resources can be a catalyst for generational wealth, soundness of body and mind can help ensure the long-term sustainability of that wealth. Think about it, real wealth has to be supported long-term. If our family members and communities are not healthy it will impact how wealth is managed, and as a result, sustained. 

To be clear, in our efforts to be of support, we must be careful in becoming  relentless and annoying, or come off as acting superior; or make others feel bad about themselves. That is not what this conversation is about. Plus, you will fail at attempts to be supportive if you come at people like that. But the truth is, some of our loved ones clearly need to take better care of themselves. It can be hard, even impossible, to have conversations with people who are neglecting themselves. In extreme cases there may be something deeper that has led them to that level of neglect. So go slow. You are only trying to help.  One idea for becoming a source of encouragement might be offering to become somebody’s accountability buddy. A wellness accountability buddy is like a coach, but it’s a mutually beneficial relationship. It’s someone you help stay on track with their wellness goals, and they do the same for you.  (Question: What are some other things we can do to support the wellness journey of loved ones?)  

It’s important to acknowledge that everybody is in a different place in their wellness journey. The struggle is real and requires a lot of discipline to see results. For many that level of discipline is one they don’t think they have the ability to achieve. That negative voice (that is not of God) can raise its head and have you thinking, I can’t do it; so why even try.  It’s a good example of the many self-defeating stories we tell ourselves that simply aren’t true.

But before you reach out to anybody else, do your own self-assessment: 1-Do I exercise at all or not enough? 2-Do I eat too many sweets, drink too little water, eat a lot of bread, along with high processed foods; 3-struggle with portion control, etc. You get the idea. Improving generational health has to first start with you! 

-K-

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Any comments included here are solely the opinions and suggestions of the writer.  

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SELF-CARE   

Without a doubt, the journey to wellness starts with Self Care. We don’t do enough of it! Women, in particular, are often very bad at it! That needs to stop! You cannot care for others if you don’t have your own health and strength in order to support them. Self-care is not selfish, which may be completely contrary to the story your mind is telling you. Selfish would be if you left your small kids or grandkids on their own, to fin for themselves, while you went to the spa for the afternoon. Seriously?!! I’m sure no one here would do that. 

Self-care can be anything where you’re in a state of relaxation and at the same time, focused on the well-being of either your mind, body or spirit. Even better if you can engage in something that provides a sense of peace for all three. Truth is, good self-care is an everyday, week by week, process that can start with even the smallest of things you do to show yourself some LOVE!   

When writing about this, I got to thinking about my self-care habits. Here’s a partial list of little everyday things I do to care for this earthly temple God gave me.  

1. Prayer and quiet time with God at the start of my day. (If I miss, I feel half full all day. A few minutes in the morning makes all the difference)

2. Lately, I’ve begun hydrating in the a.m. with at least 12 ounces of water, water with lemon, or some other healthy liquid.

3. I usually know in the morning what I’m going to eat that day which helps manage temptations.  

4. I don’t function well without at least 7hrs of sleep. So, I try to get at least that most nights. 

5. I do 30 minutes of Yoga or other exercise at least four days a week. (which may sound puny to you hard-core fitness addicts out there😊)

6. Last month I shared that I have osteoarthritis, so part of my self-care is a monthly therapeutic massage. So Awesome! What a difference it makes!

MY POINT:  Lots of little things can add up to Huge Benefits!

-K-

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This is a Self-Care Must Watch!!!

 Gotta Love Tab!  -K-

Tabitha Brown: Tabitha Gives Us a Glimpse at Her Best Quarantine Self-Care Practices

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Self-Care: 12 Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201812/self-care-12-ways-take-better-care-yourself

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